Wonder Warman

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Cappy’s Crappy Review: Wonder Woman

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See now, DC? That wasn’t so hard!

I think the code to cracking the cinematic comic curse for DC was, oddly enough, having their characters crack a frickin’ smile.

My super duper science experiment:

Everyone’s favorite Batman movie: The Dark Knight.

The main villain: The Joker.

His distinguishing characteristic: A giant painted smile!

Don’t argue: It’s science!

Seeing characters on screen, who actually looked like they were enjoying being on screen, helped me to enjoy the movie experience. It’s odd to say that a superhero movie was inspiring, but, isn’t that what the genre was created to do in the first place?

Wonder Woman: Those people over there need help!

Beefcakington: We don’t have time to help those people!

Wonder Woman: Well, I guess I’m the goddess of making time so…oh, look at that, we got time to help them after all!

Beefcakington: Clever girl…

Along with the chuckles I was surprised at the deeper philosophical topics raised. The campfire scene explored the complexity of humanity in that “we’re friends now, but our ancestors were complete tools to each other”. I also appreciated how the villain pointed out that, whether he helped or not, humans are kinda messed up and do horrific stuff all the time.

I am bummed that there were a few tropes that the movie insisted on keeping. The girl is obligated to make out with the first inoffensive dude who is sorta nice to her.

Lads can never be friends with lasses!

They must face fight, a battle that will, just like their hormones, rage for eternity!

Although to be fair, despite having no interest in dudes, if Chris Pine told me that making out with him would end the first World War, I’d be surprised it’s still going, but if it’s for the good of the world…I’ll take one for the team.

TEAM U.S.A.!

The ending, which also inspired the art above, is also a point of contention. When Wonder Woman began preaching that she could end the war with the power of love, I was intrigued how that would play out. Would the studio allow for “The Last Airbender” philosophy to be explored, in which a villain is rendered powerless and thus truly defeated without needing to murder a person?

NOPE DIANA JUST KEEP PUNCHING ARES IN THE NECK UNTIL HE STOPS MOVING!

I wonder if the original script hinted at a more thoughtful defeat of the deceitful deity. When Wonder Woman absorbed part of Ares’ lightning, I pondered if she would absorb the rest of him, in a metaphor that signified that evil was now in Diana, and she would have to consciously monitor her feelings to ensure the hate never took over, much like humans do.

NOPE DIANA JUST KEEP PUNCHING ARES IN THE NECK UNTIL HE STOPS BREATHING!

Try to ignore that even Zeus couldn’t physically stop Ares so I guess Diana just punches extra crazy good. In fact, for such a melodramatic mantra, despite Diana chanting about love she sure stabbed a lot of dudes to death.

A lot of dudes.

Like, if she did this at a Walgreens she would be on the news with a screen crawl stating there’s no bail set for her.

Keep her stabby-ass locked up!

Oh well, it’s cuz the movie stands out on so many levels that it also highlights the flaws a little more than the other superhero movies. The result is a fun movie that actually treats a lot of topics in a smart manner. So DC, let a little love in your heart and make more movies with heart.

You can still have the hearts explode at the end.

Bonus Wonder Woman Halloween idea: If you’re planning on dressing up as the Lasso Lady for Halloween, might I suggest bringing a folding chair along with you? When somebody quizzes you about your foldable furniture, you can sit in it and proudly proclaim “As you can see, I’m in my Invisible Jet!”