my forefathers were bright

I have no clue how I managed to think up this one…yet I’m still overly proud of it. These guys are so unique that even without listing their names I’m sure you recognized then right away. “Honest” Abe Lincoln and Ben “The Greatest American” Franklin truly are amazing and inspiring people whom everyone should know about. So I’ve delayed posting this and scavenged the network to bring you the best facts the internet has to offer. And since its the internet I’m praying I got the legit stuff…I tried to see repeating references in most of them. If you want the real stuff then go rent a book from the library you slacker! And be sure to thank Ben for actually creating libraries. Do you think people nicknamed him ‘Frank’ or 'Frankie'? Cause I know I would’ve… Definitely take a potty break before delving further!

Edumicate yerself bout da Lincoln:
When he worked as a lawyer he traveled on horseback from town to town to work on cases * He was presidente numero 16 and served 2 terms * And ladies…Lincoln had a size 14 shoe. Wink, wink * He kept notes and documents tucked inside that stylin’ stovepipe hat of his * He was a jokester yet suffered heavily from depression * Lincoln bowled * He was often bashed by opponents as atheist since he never staked a permanent religious sect label * He received a patent for a steamboat improvement invention of his, thus making him the first president to have had a patent * He was the first president to be assassinated and the first president born outside of the 13 original colonies * He was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, but its still debated over the motive and people involved * The emancipation proclamation only declared the slaves in the southern renegade states as free people, which obviously couldn’t be enforced over there, so it was mostly a symbolic action…and also awkward for Union slaves * Lincoln died six days after the Confederates surrendered from the Civil War * His body was put on a funeral train which visited towns for people to mourn * His mug is on the 5 dollar bill * The Lincoln monument is in Washington DC, there are 36 columns that represent the number of states there were so far when he died…which means there were 36 states at the time.

Could it be true…a little girl by the name of Grace Bedell wrote a letter to the president-elect, and among things she advised Mr. Lincoln to grow some whiskers since his face was so long and that da ladies dug such a fashion statement (and still do!) and would tease their husbands into voting for him. The Republican nominee responded that he thought it a silly request…however…
Could it be true…I remember hearing that since he was so tall as a youth, one of his favorite jokes was to hoist kids upside-down and imprint muddy feet on ceilings.
Could it be true…I read a quick snippet about it somewhere that Stephen Douglas, Abe’s racist senator rival, showed interest in Lincoln’s future wife at one point. Meow!
Could it be true…a man was boarding a train when he lost his balance, falling outside of the moving locomotive. An actor inside quickly snagged the victim’s collar and brings him inside to safety. The rescuer was Edwin Booth, brother of John. The man he saved was Robert Todd Lincoln, son of Abraham. Click the link below to read for yourself you untrusting negative nancies! Or type ‘lincoln booth saved’ into google dot com.
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He talks the talk: "I have never studied the art of paying compliments to women; but I must say that if all that has been said by orators and poets since the creation of the world in praise of women were applied to the women of America, it would not do them justice for their conduct during this war. I will close by saying, God bless the women of America!" * "Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it." * "Whenever I hear any one arguing for slavery I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally." * "Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them." * "If all do not join now to save the good old ship of the Union this voyage nobody will have a chance to pilot her on another voyage."

Know thy Franklin mortals:
He invented bifocals, allowing a pair of glasses to show both near and far sight * He studied the workings of the sea and ships during his 8 voyages across the Atlantic Ocean * Franklin invented the lightning rod, which protects buildings from lightning strikes…and unfortunately that invention ultimately inspired the creation of the Pikachu * He created the Franklin Stove which was a safer way to heat the mostly wooden houses, yet he refused to take a patent on it * He created swim fins for the feet * His son William remained loyal to England and the strife between father and son was never patched * He loved to sing * Frank was the only one to sign all 4 of the documents trying to create the United States: the Declaration of Independence. The Treaty of Alliance, Amity, and Commerce with France. The Treaty of Peace between England, France, and the United States. The Constitution. He also helped to write parts of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence * Ben was a postmaster* He established the first fire company and smartly a fire insurance company * He proposed the idea of daylight savings time * When Ben was a printer, he published cartoons in the paper so that even illiterate people could understand the story. Also, he secretly wrote under the penname of Silence Dogood, a ficticious widow who commented about women’s treatment among other things and was a smash hit * Benjamin ran away from his abusive brother and headed for New York, and his future wife spotted him when he arrived * Ben authored and printed the first political cartoon, of a minced snake with the caption “Join or Die” * He fathered the first library * Franklin had a blue room in his house devoted to music and entertainment * He invented the odometer * He was criticized once over his flamboyant signature as a lad and from then on always signed things plainly…aww * Ben was quite the connoisseur of da ladies (only after his wife died, of course) * He could speak French kinda, which helped him to negotiate * One of his last public acts was writing an anti-slavery treatise * He was in Paris and watched the very first hot air balloon takeoff. And he saw the last concert of The Messiah conducted by Handel before the composer died * His face is plastered on the 100 dollar bill * 20,000 people attended his funeral * The Franklin monument is located in Philidelphia.

Fun crap: Frankie loved playing the armonica. Wanna know what the crap an armonica is? I’m sure you’ve heard one before. Play a simulation right here with the following link and let the jam session begin! [link]

Preach it brother: Benjamin was a very clever fellow and coined a lot of famous and thoughtful phrases like “A penny saved is a penny earned” * “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today” * “Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade?” * “Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise” * “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards” * “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days” * “If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun” * “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” * “Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.” * “He that blows the coals in quarrels that he has nothing to do with, has no right to complain if the sparks fly in his face” * “To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends” * “Where there's Marriage without Love, there will be Love without Marriage.” * “Little strokes fell great oaks.” “A man may, if he knows not how to save as he gets, keep his nose to the grindstone.” * “in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.”
-Whew, The Too Much Friggin’ Info Captain