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Cappy's Random Rant
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Since I have such a delusional god complex of myself, I truly believe that people are interested in what I’ve been up to on my hiatus. Even though NOT ONE OF YOU little comment lepers ever attempted to find out if I was dead or kidnapped by anti-art hippies. I realize that I could have very possibly been one of those news stories in which nobody finds my dead body facedown in a canister of rocky road ice cream for three weeks…because they thought that pop tart smell was normal coming from me.

No, I’m totally cool about it.

Well now, what I’ve been up to. I am happy to announce that I graduated college! Community college! Not sounding like such an accomplishment now! Yuppers, I had a sassy 3.89 GPA, but my final batch of classes included Statistics. And we all know the devil invented math. Geez, why’s the devil gotta be so evil…it’s almost like…someone took the word ‘evil’…and put a ‘d’ in front of it…to notify people that there’s evil in the devil. Oh. Never mind.

Anyhoo, I surprised myself by pulling off a B, but in turn it bumper-boated my GPA to a less attractive yet still very hot 3.78. So I got me a fancy AA degree diploma in Liberal Arts and Sciences because I’s is good with them hard book learnin’s. I’ll go for a Bachelor’s at CSU Stanislaus. The people there seem really nice, although their advertisement department needs to take a new direction with their swell pamphlet headlines like, “Stanislaus: It’s…Kinda Close To Where You Live?” You had me at “Kinda”.

I’ve decided that I want to pursue a job in social work. I always wanted to do something that makes a difference, and helping kids is something I’d be able to say I did with pride. I’ve been told that the field is really hurting for male workers since the majority are female. Most crimes against children are perpetrated by men, and having some good guys working there will help rebuild bonds with the kids. But since there’s no good guys around, I guess they’ll be stuck with me!

On a serious note, Ana and I have decided to be friends. The reasons are personal, but I don’t want anyone thinking bad about her. She’ll always be a wonderful person and I wouldn’t trade in the years we’ve had for anything. So I’ll calmly wait because I know I’ll find Mrs. Right someday. Well, I hope she’s not literally a Mrs. I know no lady can resist this sweet piece of man-candy but please, no married chicks! (They love it when you call ‘em chicks.)

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Cappy's Rockin' Rendition
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Sleep? Pssh, who needs sleep? I’ve been working for several days, long into the night getting this one done. Why? Because I refuse to abandon traditional media! Old school representin’, yo.

“LIEK OMG I SPENT SOO LONG DOING TEH ART IN FOTOSHOPPE EXL S00PER COMBO PLUS!!!!1!23 A HOLE 5 HOURS!!!!”
Are you serious? Shut your mouth! I swear people are lazy with technology; I spent well over fifteen hours with my lead-ridden Mexican colored pencils and my otter pop-esque blue ruler…and nothing is ever more satisfying than finally finishing that last piece to color while fighting ‘dead hand’.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been elated with a picture, and this is definitely the metaphoric lasagna on my artistic dish. Remember, by definition I know how to do backgrounds, so I butchered my semester class knowledge of perspective and eyeballed the angles. To which I’m very happy with.

What I most love is the coloring; I usually use the peach and terra cotta colored pencils for skin tone…but after stumping myself at what all the other colors for clothes and even the floor would be, I figured I’d make it monochromatic. It has that olde tymey photograph quality that I like. But alas, let us take a moment to remember the peach pencil, who willingly gave up its entirety so that this awesome joke may live forever.

If you need some reminding, there’s a cell phone company called Verizon, and their god-awful mascot/tool is a buzz cut haired dolt who parrots into the phone his motto of “Can you hear me now? Good!” Recently they’ve shortened it down to him saying “Good!” Which means, your selected deity willing, that soon he’ll have nothing to say at the unemployment line, behind that “Dude you’re getting a Dell!” stoner.

Questions or comments on my rant or art? If you make it interesting then I usually respond back!

For the art geeks: Micron Pigma pen 01 (.25mm), da ruler, Prang peach and Verithin terra cotta colored pencils.
-The “It’s Not Blood, It’s Cocktail Sauce! Rating It Mature Means Guests Can’t See My Art” Cappy