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PrincipleOnSleepingBootyCalls

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Cappy’s Random Rant
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Have you ever listened to a friend say “Man, I dunno why I always pick the wrong people to date.” And you listen with a sympathetic ear, because you just don’t have the heart to say “Actually, YOU’RE the wrong person!” No job? Nothing but complaints babble from your maw whenever it’s open? Limited social skills other than to be Buffalo Bill stalker-esque clingy? And your claim to fame is being the crazy drunk person at a party that’ll do anything on a dare? Well golly, that sounds like a wonderful wagon to hitch onto!

“Mommy, we’re hungry!”
“I know sweetie. Daddy’s trying his best to earn money by taking quarter dares to down a shot of powdered cinnamon…”

So in conclusion: Seriously, type in ‘ powdered cinnamon’ into Youtube! Watch how civilization’s future doesn’t realize that stuff absorbs moisture faster than that freeloader cousin when the pizza arrives.

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Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
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IS NOTHING FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD SACRED FROM THE SCOURGE THAT IS CAPPY? The little girl in you weeps “That movie inspired me to become an artist!” but the independent womyn you’ve become screams “Yeah! Snow White don’t need no sugar daddy!”

I was in the shower, which I guess is as good a time as any to think about Disney princess movies. I haven’t seen Snow White and Sleeping Beauty in, like, decades. But if I recall, weren’t the princes just kind of frolicking in the forest for no discernable reason? All of a sudden, they’re drawn by some internal GPS (global princessing system) to where the lulling ladies are.

Do they even know that these women are cursed, or do they just jump right into a sexual assault charge with every woman that has her eyes closed? Let a chick get a power nap, she’s cleaning up after seven midgets; those people can get into nooks and crannies like you wouldn’t believe. What kind of dude starts making out with an unconscious girl? That’s date rape broham, and daddy’s treasury can’t pay off the harsh sentencing of the fairytale judicial court circuit!

Prince: I removed the poison from your lips with a kiss!
Snow White: I guess I owe you my grati… Did…did you remove my bra?
Prince: It was a poison bra!

Random fun fact: I’m the kind of person that DVD special features are designed for. I watched the documentary on Snow White, and the blush on her celluloid cheeks is REAL makeup! Supposedly, Disney was concerned that painting on makeup would look silly, and a female animator suggested that they simply apply actual makeup to the drawings.
Disney scoffed “That means you plan on applying makeup to thousands of cels; can you honestly apply the stuff perfectly to each frame?”
The woman shot back “What do you think us ladies have been doing all these years?”

-The “And The Prince Lived In A 8x12’ Cell Ever After” Cappy

For the copycats: micron pigma pen 03 (linework), prismacolor markers, colored pencils, sharpie marker, uniball 207 gel pen.
References: Disney character website, Youtube clip of Snow White on her frickin’ horrid mausoleum.
Image size
484x800px 225.13 KB
Make
HP
Model
HP oj7400
Date Taken
Jul 18, 2008, 5:18:16 AM
© 2008 - 2024 Mrcappy
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