Misquote A ThousandsYrOld Book

First, I think I should get brownie points for drawing Correctly Ethnic Jesus. Correctly Ethnic Jesus is like the “Where’s Waldo” of religious depictions.

Hey! Remember that part in the Bible where Jesus threw a rock at a prostitute?

When a seedy lawyer invited Jesus to his house for dinner, and Jesus was like “No way! I only interact with people that openly flaunt their piousness…like those priests playing bingo in the temple!

Or who could forget what Jesus said to the spectators when He was up on the cross “Ow! You jerks, I’m gonna wait behind the pearly gates and punch you in the face!”

You…don’t remember those passages? Oh, that’s right, because the exact opposite happened in those experiences. Look, I won’t pretend that I’ve read more than three books of the Bible. But from the years of church, lectures, and Christian school, I am flabbergasted at how people interpret Jesus’ words. Jesus was a humanitarian in every sense: He showed compassion and interacted with the people shunned by society and religious sects, and He asked His Father to forgive those that cheered His crucifixion.

So how in the world does a group like the “God Hates Fags” pop up? Now, now, normally I don’t nitpick the faiths, because a smart person once stated that all religions are equally wrong and equally right. But the group highlighted are the people who protest funerals of gay people and fallen US troops and praise god (lowercased since I don’t believe they’re referring to the name of my God) that they died. That’s crazy enough…but they also practice the Calvinistic belief that you’re already destined for either Heaven or Hell by the time you’re born.
…So, then why go out of your way to harass people and tell us we’re sinful and need to repent if we’re already doomed?

Ah well, anyway I think Ben Franklin said in a polite society you do not discuss politics or religion. The only picture I’ve ever done that has caused a flame war was Ask Jesus [link] , where I think a couple of times I was told (very seriously) that I was destined for Hell.
There is no humor in Heaven, buddy!
I absolutely encourage people to disagree with me, my site is a democracy (with me as the benevolent dictator). I enjoy seeing different points of view, bantering with each other a few times, and leaving on good terms because we understand the concept that we are individuals with individualistic mindsets. Still, it’s hard to be objective when faced with:

Dude your picture is stupid and Jesus will judge you and you will go to Hell! YOU WILL!!!

I totally agree that Jesus will judge my merits, but that’s kinda harsh to think I’m going to Hell for this.

I love Jesus so much I even wear my WWJD bracelet in the shower so I know he’ll send you to Hell!

I thought only God could make judgment calls, your claim sounds like you’re speaking on BEHALF of Jesus.

Jesus works through me so I am a vessel so I know you will go to HELL!!!

And round it goes until I realize we’ve established three different contradictions. I’ve seen plenty of art I don’t like, but remember that those are people’s established galleries, and anything you post on TEH INTERNETZ will stay there FOREVER. So the moral is: never post nude photos on the net! No wait…it’s that you can openly disagree with my statements, but I’d appreciate intelligent criticism. The Bible is thousands of years old, surely it deserves better rebuttals than “NUH-UH UR A TARD”

If I had anything to do over, it’d be to change “Christians” to “His followers”, because it’s not just Christian fundies that are the antagonist…though it is the most hypocritical given our namesake. Most Christians are sensible, and the ‘Christians’ you see screaming on the news are just pimple pockets of about a few dozen families. I appreciate your thoughts on my thoughts. Heck, even the hate mail sparked some great comments from some super cool artists, so com’mon and torch me!
-The “And On The Eighth Day God Created The Clown, For The World Seemed Dull” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 03 (linework); discontinued Crayola educational watercolors; red, green, and blue Pilot V5 rolling ball pens (colored linework and textures).