Kasumi's Kartoon Korner 1

Different pictures, same description!
[link] Intro
[link] Anime face
[link] Anime profile face
[link] Anime expressions
[link] Mouth etiquette

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Cappy’s Not So Random Rant
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Welcome, once again, to my very limited series of “anime that doesn’t suck”. I’ve been bitten by the old skool anime bug, and Best Buy is the drug dealer that’s destroying my once proud gated community of quality movies. They’ve stocked massive amounts of very old anime, from ‘Cowboy Bebop’ to ‘Outlaw Star’. I find myself buying mediocre titles along with the good ones simply because they’re from the 90s and have outstanding traditional animation techniques.

The real problem: I’d forgotten just how punch-to-the-eardrum bad 90s anime dubs used to be.

I was looking at the anime aisle, feeling absolutely embarrassed that Best Buy staff think I’m trying to find underage schoolgirl anime…when I saw it.
No, not underage schoolgirl anime.
Well, yes, there was underage schoolgirl anime but that’s not what I mean.
I came across…’Slayers’.

‘Slayers’ is one of the few parody animes that is casual and generalized in its humor. It ranges from making fun of videogames (the heroines cut holes in the evil lord’s castle floors because the last boss is always on the bottom level) to giant Godzilla battles (the heroines summon their own beast to battle the doom weapon, the monsters grapple, look into each other’s eyes, and true love blooms between them).

There are two types of ‘Slayers’ experiences: the anime series and then a collection of movies and OVAs (original video animation). I had to order the series on Amazon, and am praying the discs don’t get dislodged and resemble rings of a tree trunk. So, by a matter of deduction, we know that I bought the movie and direct to video collection. It deals with a sorceress with body issues named Lina Inverse and her foil sidekick I shall call Chesty McBoobers. This anime helped me to realize that ‘inverse’ is a really good term to lob at people if you want to build your vocab up. The dialogue is really tight and almost every statement is a joke of some sort. Almost every character realizes how ludicrous the plots are, and fun is had by all.

Please, buy this series; do not support the other parody animes which only specialize in “it’s random so it’s funny cuz it’s random!!”
That’s right. I think ‘Azumanga Daioh’ is crap. I’LL SAY IT RIGHT TO A DYING ORPHAN’S FACE.

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Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
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So, I am heading to the mystical orient lands of Arkansas during Christmas, to be the prerequisite awesome uncle to my nephews and niece. I think I mentioned my awful airline safety check during the last time I flew out to see my sister and her litter. I’m actually RELIEVED when I hear that a plane crashes, cuz it’s usually nothing, nothing, MY GOD BODIES AND CRAPPY AMERICAN ENGINEERING ALL OVER THE TARMAC nothing, nothing.
As soon as there’s a crash, maintenance stops slacking off for a few months. I haven’t heard of any crashes of lately, so I’m nervous. Remember, if my plane goes down, I want you guys to assemble a Cappy Collection Coalition and go search for me in the forest. You know full well I’m gonna be a survivor!

Anyway. Once I ride a grizzly out of the woods and have it drop me off in the south, I thought that I’d be relaxing and showing my transformers-addicted relative the whole first and second season of ‘Transformers Animated’…maybe bring the N64 version of ‘Super Smash Bros.’ so that I may dominate and laugh in the faces of defeated children.

But no!

I come to find out that my sister has me signed up to teach my nephew and his friends “japanimation” style.
It bothers me that my sister and mother know that terminology.
Coupled with the fact that my nephew and his entourage’s extent of anime stems from ‘Kingdom Hearts’, ‘ Pokemon’, and ‘Legend Of Zelda’, the best sellers in my “What I absolutely loathe in videogames” rants. They are really making me earn my bestest uncle evar award.

“Know your enemies better than they know themselves” as the saying goes, and I’m quite surprised at how much I remember about the style. I took Kasumi from my Cappy Crew and did her up in my weeaboo style; I am disheartened that even in anime she could still be mistaken for a dude…AND THE POINT OF ANIME IS THAT EVERYONE LOOKS LIKE A CHICK!

Here are some factoids I will tell the kiddies during the drawing lesson(s).

*The very first time that the anime drawing style showed up was in ‘Astro Boy’. And it is popularly believed that the artist was inspired by an American cartoon. Do you remember an old black and white cartoon that highlighted huge eyes and small mouths…?
That’s right, ‘Betty Boop’ is believed to have inspired anime. HAHA HOTDOGS BUBBLE GUM AMERICA NUMBER ONE!!

*I took an animation class at the Academy Of Art College. To animate, it takes 24 pictures for 1 second of animation. 24 pictures times sixty seconds in a minute, times eighty minutes for the normal time of an animated feature and divide that across the wrists of animators because how do they not kill themselves?! Anyway, in traditional animation, there is a “ picture camera” that will snap a photo of each drawing. In western animation, it’s one photo for every drawing. In anime, it’s two photos…sometimes three photos of every drawing, which explains the choppy quality of anime compared to Disney stuff.

And with that, I have added to the five thousand unnecessary anime tutorials on DevArt.

-The “There Was A Lot Of Random Humor In This Description But I Still Stand By My Statement On Parody Animes” Cappy